Stage Setting
by Ximei
Summary: In order to ease Mona's boredom and her inherent desire to torture him, Shrowdy decides to build her a stage.
1. Chapter I

Stage setting

One late and damp evening, a voice pierced the overall gloom of Castle Warg.

"Shrowdy, where are you?!" echoed across the tower.

The midget vampire cringed at the sound, but materialised in front of her nonetheless. The fact that his newest love was hard to please had been well etched into his head by now, and he often found himself wishing she had shared his passion for coloring books. Coloring did not require much talking outside the occasional: "Hey, do you think I should color this roof with brown or red?" It did not require much thinking either, something which Shrowdy thought was perhaps the best part.

"What is it, my beautiful belladonna bud? You are up early tonight."

"I'm bored. Bored out of my mind! Do you hear that, Shrowdy?" the girl asked, her tone sharp. She made it sound as if he was the cause of her boredom, and not the fact that she was locked in a tower. By him, but that was a different story.

"Yes, Vampy McShortpants, we're out of ideas. Why don't you do something about it before Mona here smacks you with her upcoming bottle of... Merlot. Like, you know, last time" added the bat.

Normally, Froderick did not muster the courage to confront him directly, preferring to go about that in a more subtle but no less annoying way. But alas, he was seated high on Mona's shoulder and therefore safely behind enemy lines. Shrowdy gulped once and fidgeted with a corner of his generic black cape.

"Is there nothing that can entertain you, my love? Perhaps Shrowdy can bring you some books from Mother's library?" offered the vampire.

He was rewarded with one of Mona's blank, if slightly disgusted looks.

"Books?..."

"Really, pal" muttered Froderick and shook his head, "after half a year you should have known better."

Inwardly, Shrowdy grudgingly had to admit that the winged rat was right. The aspiring opera singer rolled her eyes and flailed her arms around.

"Oh, just let me go back to Paris already! The stage is my life! What ever shall I do without it?"

"But nobody here is stopping you from singing, my dear" Shrowdy replied.

"The few rooms I'm locked in do not compare with a stage and an audience. Bah, forget it. What would someone like you know about it?"

Shrowdy was preparing to reply that he had been to quite a few musical events in many theatres across Europe (though not particularly for the sake of music as much for potential Mother lookalikes), when Mona continued to rant:

"The closest you ever came to public attention was when you got drunk on blood and tried to drain the scarecrow from the Mayor's yard on Halloween. In your underwear."

"How did you find out about that?... Oh that damn raven and his newspapers!" he wailed. Mona gave a very distinct "Hmph!", stuck her nose up in the air and turned to leave. And then, out of the blue, Shrowdy was struck by something very unusual for him: a good idea.

"Just you wait, my love. If I cannot let you go to the stage, I shall bring the stage to you! You may think me vile and stupid, but I will prove the purity of my feelings by offering you this present" he nodded, his eyes closed and his mind locked on the image of Mona being overjoyed with her personal stage.

"Don't forget to bring my Merlot" rang Mona's voice from upstairs.

Realising that he had been talking all by himself, Shrowdy kicked the black firepoker that had been resting near the fireplace. For a second, he thought he heard the bear rug chuckle.

ooo

Despite being angry, the vampire was by no means discouraged. The first step in making a stage for Mona was finding a room wide enough for it. And not just any room, but one in her tower. The answer came pretty easily: he would use the throphy display room, which had never interested Mona too much in the first place. This decision once made, he proceeded out of the tower to retrieve the key from that ever annoying Rufus. The weather was awful; it was raining heavily and the wind threatened to turn Shrowdy into a vampire kite. He was halfway across the gargoyle bridge when a gust of wind from behind blew his large cape over his head. From the balcony, Mona and Froderick watched in amusement how the black bundle hopped around the narrow bridge.

"Too bad he's too short to fall over."

"At times like these, I'm almost sorry for him" chuckled the bat while Shrowdy smacked his head against one of the stone statues guarding the bridge.

It took him a while, but in the end Shrowdy managed to flip his cape over his head and approach Rufus.

"Oh, and just when he was in hitting range" muttered the creature and sighed heavily.

Von Kiefer had a very strict self-imposed "no talking to Rufus unless necessary" policy, and therefore he extended his open palm towards him.

The creature responded to this gesture with a very ironic "Why, good evening!"

Frowning, Shrowdy shook his palm, making it obvious that he was expecting the key.

"Your hand is very ugly. Your fingers are stubby and the creases on your palm show that you have a very short lifespan, if my cheiromancy knowledge does not fail me. Well, at least I have one comforting thought out here in the rain."

Shrowdy's face suddenly turned into a feral mask and he punched Rufus' gray belly with all his might. Rufus smirked at the crouching vampire holding his throbbing fist and spit the key on his head.

ooo

This scene could have been, no pun intended, the key to Mona's salvation, if she could have seen better through that blasted rain. Squinting and trying to shield her eyes from it did not help. She was not sure if the key was hidden in the first or second gargoyle from the door. The wind and rain made everything blurry, and that huge cape Shrowdy was wearing was blowing in every direction possible, further obscuring her view. She sighed and shook her head. Froderick perched himself on her shoulder.

"Let's go back inside. We'll see it better next time, we just have to keep trying."

Mona nodded and brushed a wet strand of hair behind her ear.

"I swear to you Froderick, one day I will get so mad that I will grab that big wooden mace from the dungeon and start smashing ALL of those gargoyles!"

"Sure you will. Now can you open a pack of dry fruits for me? Rain makes me hungry."

The girl nodded and closed the balcony door. She walked with tiny steps to Froderick's bat cage and opened the plastic wrapping of the pack with one slight tug.

"Really, I do not know what to do anymore" she said while feeding him a dry plum, "I have tried to do everything bad so that he gets bored or angry and releases me. Last week I took his favorite toy, set it on fire with the candles by my bed and threw it through that dreadful stained glass window by the stairs that lead to the hall. His reaction? _Mona my love, you have an eye for redecorating_! Bah! He even replaced the broken panel with one depicting a spider."

"Wait, what did the old panel have?"

"A snake."

"At least the Baroness can be sure the Von Kiefer esthetic values live on" mumbled Froderick.

ooo

Before heading out into the cold night to purchase some Merlot for the object of his obsession, Shrowdy searched in the "Draxylvanian Red Pages" for the addresses of people who could help him bring his plan to completion. A phone would have been a great help, and he bought one once, but Inky had eaten the wires along with the crew that he had hired to install them. He scribbled the addresses on the back of one of his coloring book sheets and descended from the Baroness' library.

ooo

"Von Kiefer, sir! What a... pleasure to have you in our humble shop."

The old man spoke with a heavy Draxylvanian accent and eyed the Baron Shrowdy von Kiefer suspiciously. There had been some strange rumors in Vlad's Landing because his mother gave birth to him in mysterious circumstances (no more mysterious than her husbands' death, though). Nobody had seen any signs of pregnancy on the Baroness, and the Baron had been long dead by the time of the happy event. But the man knew better than to question the ways of the nobility. Right now, he had to deal with the current Baron von Kiefer's request of building a theatre inside his castle.

"It is a gift for my beautiful wife" explained the Baron in his pathetic voice.

_Wife? The Baron was married? Poor woman. _

"I want it to have a large memorial plaque with the words: The Mona de Lafitte Memorial Theatre painted on them."

_The wife is dead? POOR woman. _

"And I also want some seats for the theatre, but something special..." added Shrowdy, crinkling his nose. He did not like having to mingle with commoners. Especially those who were too old to be eaten.

"I happen to have some fine seats from Vienna... the Mayor wanted them for the City Hall, but..." explained the old man.

"Excellent" nodded Shrowdy. "I want everything delivered to my castle tomorrow at 10 pm. Order your men to bring some sturdy rafts. My lovely wife will be happy to see her present."

_His dead wife will be happy to see his present? POOR BARON. So young and yet already cuckoo, _thought the old man.

"And one more thing" Shrowdy turned slowly, aiming for a dramatic effect. Which was difficult, seeing how he was the size of a table leg. "Do not try to cross the lake without me. I shall be waiting for you and your men on the shore at the appointed time."

With that, the Baron left the workshop and disappeared into the windy night. Or got blown by a particularly strong gust of wind. Considering his height, the old man wasn't sure.

ooo

Mona was kneeling on the carpet in her room, studying the objects in Shrowdy's toy chest. She had just singled out a toy pitchfork, when Froderick flew inside and settled in his cage. The rain had stopped and he had gone out to stretch his wings a little. Mona preferred to remain in her human form as much as possible and thus did not partake in her companion's midnight rides.

"Hey Mona, did you ever notice how weird clouds are in this area?"

"What do you mean by that?" she asked absent-mindedly while looking at something that resembled a disemboweled plastic torso.

"Well, they have these freaky shapes... I swear some of them are shaped like witches, while others look like spiders!"

"No wonder this place looks like it's Halloween all year round."

"I guess. Hey, why don't you sing one of those sweet French lullabies while we wait for Shrowdy to bring your bottle of bl... er, wine."

"I'm not in the mood. Besides, my throat is so dry I can barely speak, let alone sing."

"Don't you think this thirst is a little strange, Mona?"

"I am sure it is just because of Shrowdy's curse. The thirst, my bat form, my cold and sticky skin and the fact that I apparently cannot stand awake during the day. All will be back to normal once I escape from here and return to Paris. Just wait and see!"

"You're lucky I'm a gent, or I would have dared you to bet with me on that."

"Don't be silly, Froderick. Ladies do not make bets, nor do they gamble. It is very... do you hear that?"

"What? Oh, you mean Shrowdy's dorky voice downstairs?"

"Come down, my moonlit raindrop! I have brought your delicious O positive Merlot!"

"One more sugary name and I'm going to set him on fire."

"How?" asked Froderick , genuinely curious.

"I do not know that yet, but I am sure you will help me."

The thin young lady descended from her room and saw Shrowdy standing near the fireplace, holding an opaque bottle in his hand. He wiped clean the raindrops from it with his cape before handing it to Mona, who grabbed it and made a theatrical turn, followed by a swift departure to her room. She had turned the boudoir (which had been both the Baroness and Shrowdy's room) into an off-limits sanctuary where Shrowdy was not allowed to set foot in, unless he was looking for serious trouble. Hell hath no fury like a Mona angered, as Shrowdy once found out when he tried to enter the room and almost got whacked with the candleholder.

"At least he is good for something" sighed Mona and gently shook the bottle a few times before drinking it empty from one shot.

Up on the vanity mirror, Froderick watched in amazement. He knew his lovely friend was not the brightest bulb in the box, but surely she noticed that she was drinking a whole bottle of what she thought was wine in one shot? Surely?

"And now that I have gotten my little sip of Merlot, we should think of something fun to do. I feel particularly inclined to tease Shrowdy tonight!" she chimmed.

Nope. Still oblivious.


	2. Chapter II

ooo

The next night, Mona was seated comfortably on the bear rug in the main hall of her tower and was showing Froderick how to make shadow shapes with her hands, using the light coming from the cackling fireplace. She was just finished forming something that looked very much like Inky when Shrowdy appeared nearby.

"What do you want, Shrowdy? Leave us alone!"

"Do not frown, my beauty! I have one request from you..."

"No."

"But my dearest..."

"NO!"

"I must ask you..."

"Froderick, do you want to hear one of my lullabies again?"

"Sure, Mona."

"... to go up to your room and wait there for a while..." continued Shrowdy.

"La, la, la ma belle fille..." hummed Mona, now seemingly oblivious to his presence.

".... because I have a surprise for you."

"La neige, c'etait si blanche... a surprise? I swear to you Shrowdy, if it's another one of your colored crayon portraits of me I shall scream so loudly that you will go deaf."

"No, no this time it is something truly magnificent! Now please go up to your room" he chuckled and tried to usher Mona upstairs.

The moment the girl and her bat were in the boudoir, they heard the door click twice and, before long, realised that Shrowdy had dared to lock them inside.

"Ugh! You terrible, horrible midget!" screamed Mona in frustration, after trying in vain to open the wooden door.

"Do not be upset, I shall return shortly and release you!" Shrody's voice echoed on the hallway.

"Return shortly? Does that mean he's leaving?" whispered Mona.

"Could be. Let's take a look outside and see what the sucker is up to."

Mona sneaked on her balcony and tried to hide behind one of the wooden pillars, while Froderick took cover in the nearbly barren flower box.

"Do you see something?" she asked, trying desperately to get a better look as Shrowdy crossed the bridge.

"He always stops right between the first and second gargoyle, so one of them must be it. I think."

"But we've looked at all of them. They're identical! How are we supposed to find the key?"

The fact that the balcony was at a rather uncomfortable angle did not help, either. Once again, operation "Ditch Castle Warg" failed. This time, Mona looked like she was about to cry.

"There, there. Don't cry, babe. We have to keep trying and at one point we'll get lucky for sure. You'll see" spoke the bat while patting her cold cheek with his claw.

Mona wiped a small red tear from the corner of her eye.

"Thank you, Froderick. I don't know what I would do without you."

"Don't sweat it. You know I care about you."

The dark haired girl smiled and turned to enter her boudoir again when her friend suddenly noticed something and flew from her shoulder.

"Hey Mona, check this out" he pointed towards the lake shore.

True enough, a group of people was gathered there. Mona could see a row of horse-drawn carriages filled with something she could not identify.

"I didn't know he ordered take-outs" mused Froderick.

Soon, they saw Shrowdy's boat gliding on the murky waters of the lake. The spare boat was tied with a rope to the one the Baron was currently rowing in. Froderick had in vain tried to explain to Mona that the reason why she and Shrowdy could not simply fly over the lake was because they were vampires, but Mona had been (and still was, for that matter) in denial. In fact, the only reaction she had when she learned that vampires were repelled and weakened by crosses was "Then I hope this curse will go away or else I shall never be able to wear grandmama's pretty golden cross necklace!"

"Why is he taking two boats?" raised Mona an eyebrow.

"It would appear that he intends to bring someone else inside the castle."

"But why?"

"No idea, but it's sure to cost him his membership in the Socially Inept Misanthropists Club."

"Put a little more faith in him, Froderick! I'm sure he'll mess up like he usually does" smiled Mona reassuringly.

That moment, Inky surfaced from the cold waters of Warg and, before Shrowdy could hypnotize him into submission, gave him a healthy splash right to the face.

"All according to the prophecy" nodded Froderick appreciatively.

Rubbing his bloodshot eyes with his sleeve, Shrowdy pointed his green, stubby finger at the blob-like monster and screeched:

"You!! Down. Now."

Inky chuckled strangely (the Baron was not sure if the creature had lungs at all) and continued to float omniously in front of the boat, oblivious to the death glares thrown at him. Because he was not a patient man, Shrowdy decided he had enough and focused on subduing the thing with his vampire powers. After a few moments of looking into the vampire's bizarre eyes, Inky felt inexplicably drowsy and slowly sank to the bottom of the lake. The one in the boat growled and continued to row until he reached the shore.

After securely tying the boat, he stepped out and approached the group of workers waiting for him. The man took off their hats and gave him a very awkward "Good evening, Baron" before leaving the tedious mission of talking to him to their chief. Shrowdy recognised the man he had spoken to the day before and addressed him in his usual stuck-up manner.

"Is everything ready?" the oddly colored man inquired.

"Good evening to you, Baron von Kiefer" began the older man. "We brought everything you ordered. Would you like to take a look at some of the materials?"

Von Kiefer did not answer, but marched straight to one of the carriages. The horse immediately became restless and one of the men took a firm hold on his reign, lest the animal panics and kicks their client into next week. Shrowdy sniffled once while inspecting the planks and various stage props. He stopped at the third carriage, where the memorial plaque was, covered with a large wool blanket. To his dismay, the two symbolic masks on the plaque did not have any fangs. He decided to voice his discontent, earning himself a few odd stares and raised eyebrows.

"Er... I'm afraid you did not mention that little detail, Baron" spoke the chief and coughed uneasily. Fangs on theatre masks? No wonder his mother kept him hidden.

"I suppose I shall have to take care of it later" conceded Shrowdy and threw the blanket back over the plaque again.

With Kiefer's inspection over, some of the men placed the lightest materials in the second boat, while others unloaded two rafts from a carriage.

"I shall keep the monster busy while you carry the things into my castle. Once all items have been deposited, I will join you. Hey, watch how you're carrying that chair! You'll get dirt on it!" he scowled, arms crossed.

A young lad had just finished loading the packages containing the curtains when he saw fit to pose Shrowdy a question that had been on the tongue of every citizen of Vlad's Landing.

"Baron, sir, how come the blasted creature obeys only you?"

Shrowdy sensed an upcoming headache.

"Because it recognises me as an infinitely superior form of life."

"No really, why does he obey only you?" continued the young man, unphased by Shrowdy's twitching hands and his strangely glowing red eyes.

"Well son, you ask the strangest questions" inteferred the chief, placing a fatherly hand on the man's shoulder. "He is the master of the castle, isn't he? Of course the... thing listens to his command" he laughed uneasily and shoved the youth discreetly away.

Shrowdy seemed pleased with the answer. Truth was, the monster was on nobody's side but his own and he was sure it would have gulped him down, boat and all, if not for his "persuasive" abilities. Soon, a part of the materials was loaded and secured on the rafts and in the spare boat. Shrowdy gestured to one of the workers to follow him in his own boat. It dawned too late on the poor man that it was probably a bad time to have left his carved wooden cross at home. Somewhat unnerved, the man sat down and watched as the Baron rowed with unusual strength towards the castle. The chief ordered his men to get on the rafts and stay behind the Baron, lest the monster decided to make yet another apparition. He did not have to worry for long because the creature splashed from the water in front of them as they were nearing the castle. It looked from one boat to another with an unsettling grin on his face, just like a child who had three huge sugar-frosted chocolate cakes in front of him and could not decide which one was the first to be gobbled up. Unfortunately, the situation had a rather anti-climactic solution as Shrowdy lost no time in hypnotizing it to the bottom again, earning him a few awed stares.

"Did you see that? The thing just bowed his head in defeat and sank back to his lair" one worker enthused.

"I think it fainted from his reeking breath, poor thing" whispered another from the last raft, believing himself safe.

Shrowdy frowned so hard it was a wonder the pressure did not make his eyeballs pop out. He pretended not to have heard that particular comment and made a quick mental note to introduce the offending human to his iron maiden. "After which I can feed the hard-to-dispose-of remains to Pyewacket" he thought, "so that she stops meowing about how I don't feed her. She's been so difficult lately. Wait... why do I keep her around anyway?..... Oh yes. Rats."

His musings were interrupted by the man behind him in the boat, who cautiously asked him where to place the items. They had entered the damp boathouse. He could hear the chief warning his men to watch where they stepped, as the place was only dimly-lit. Since he could see just fine in the dark, Shrowdy didn't see the need to waste lamp oil, especially when it was so expensive.

"Don't leave them here, the wood is not very sturdy. Just go upstairs and leave them in the dining room. Careful not to place any too near to the fireplace or heads will roll! And burn!" warned Shrowdy as he hopped from the boat onto the wet and half-rotten planks.

Crossing his arms, he waited for the men to unload the things and tried to decide which one he will keep for dinner.

--------------------------- 


	3. Chapter III

ooo

Our two heroes were watching, not without a certain degree of curiosity, as Shrowdy was crossing the lake with the second part of whatever he decided to order. Having given up hiding for the moment, Mona was standing straight, her right hand on her chin and a puzzled expression on her face.

"What is he doing with all those things?" she raised an eyebrow.

"From what I can see, it's mostly wood" answered her friend. "If we're lucky, there will be enough leftovers to make some quality stakes and a pyre. Add a fat guy dressed in red and it will be like Christmas all over again!"

"Do you think Shrowdy is afraid of stakes?"

"Eh, he's supposed to. I'd be willing to try and smuggle one in here just to see his face. Though I bet it won't be as epic as that time when you poured the water from the vase in your room into that empty crystal perfume bottle and told him it was Holy Water. Remember how I grabbed it and started flying down the hall after him? I think he hit every closed door on the way to the dungeon. And missed a few turns."

"Ha ha, yes, I remember. He locked himself in his coffin and started crying for his mother. I felt a little bad for him then."

"You're kidding."

"Of course."

ooo

He had just finished inflicting a healthy dose of mental torture on the monster for the fourth time that night, when the sheer tediousness of the effort made Shrowdy roll his eyes and sigh dramatically. Ever since his mother had explained to him the weaknesses a child of the night has, he had hated water with a passion. Every time he crossed that damn lake, a scenario would play over and over again in his head: he would suddenly discover that the boat had a hole in it and water would start pooling at his feet. He would then sink and get eaten by the lake monster, if Dame Fortune was feeling merciful. If not, then he would still sink like a brick and wait for the daylight in those dirty waters. He would probably starve to death or would die from sun exposure before that happened and it would _hurt_ and the lack of blood would be horrible and he would never get to see his mommy again and find out whether she is alive or not and… _is that Mona on the balcony?!_

"What is she doing out there? She's supposed to stay hidden! If these peasants see her, the rumors will start flying around like a swarm of bats on Halloween and suspicions will arise. She could even cry for help as we cross the bridge! And then I will be forced to dispose of all those workers and I will never get that stage done… after all, how many deaths can I blame on the lake blob?"

Panicked, the Baron started flailing his arms in what he deemed as his way of saying "Shoo, Mona! Get inside this instant!"

"Hey look, Shrowdy's getting agitated."

"You think he is waving to us?" stared Mona at the tiny green man who was, for all she knew, dancing the Draxylvanian polka with his hands.

"I think he's trying to say something."

"Then I am horribly sorry for him, but any other message than '_I have returned with your wine_' or '_I have decided to release you and then impale myself on a fork'_ will be deleted" replied the dark haired girl dryly.

As soon as he was back in the boathouse, Shrowdy ordered his men to unload and wait for him in the dining hall. Afterwards, he hurried up the stairs, opened the heavy door and by the time he had reached the middle of the bridge, he was completely out of breath.

"Get back inside!" he choked.

"Who are you to order me around like that?" came the shrilly answer.

"I am your hu-… I mean your ma-… no, wait. I am your guardian, dearest. I am the guardi-"

"You are only the idiot who thought kidnapping and cursing me was a good idea!" she cut him off.

"An idiot indeed" he grimly thought, "Out of all those girls at the French Opera, I had to pick _her_."

"My love" he pressed on, "please be reasonable and get back inside. That balcony is made of wood and not very sturdy. Back when my mother was here, she often spoke of replacing it. So unless you would look forward to a close encounter with the resident lake ward, please head back into your room."

"Froderick says you are lying" came the predictable reply.

Shrowdy was preparing to grab a few handfuls of his hair and tear them out in unspeakable frustration when, much to his horror, the door that led to the dining hall cracked open and the chief's voice made its way to his ears:

"Baron, are you there? We finished unloading and-"

That instant, Shrowdy knew that his nightly, blood-craving ancestors had spent hundreds of years exploring their dark nature, researching ways to compensate for their handicaps as children of the night, refining their charisma, increasing their powers and generally making their species more advanced for one single purpose: to have the sufficient self-control to refrain themselves from screaming like a little girl in moments like these.

He lunged, drawing a fine curb in the air and slammed himself against the door with bone shattering might. Mona and Froderick ran quickly inside and brought out two white sheets of paper with 8.56 and 10.00 drawn on them. They held them up and cheered.

"You gave him full score? Oh please. I think you are growing soft, Froderick."

"I don't know, there was something poetic in that desperate lunge towards the door. It was like fate itself was pulling him… is his leg supposed to bend that way?"

"Let us hope not" grinned Mona.

ooo

If there was one thing Shrowdy was completely sure of, it was the feeling of pain. And not the 'ouch – that hurt!' type, no. Not even the kind that unleashes the Great Profanity River. It was the legendary sort which usually involved hot iron pokers and rusty fishing hooks. During one of the many… conversations he and his mother held down in the dungeon with their guests, a particularly vocal Asian man had called it "An Eternity of Pain" and Shrowdy was quite confident that he was feeling every minute of it. He had a monstrous ache in his bones and was uncertain as to whether he would ever be capable of removing the right portion of his face from the surface of the door where it was currently embedded in.

Tortured by the knowledge that his nose may never return to its proper place, the Baron sucked air in his lungs and glued himself off the door. After a brief check-up done in order to place his oddly contorted leg back in shape and to groom himself, Shrowdy thanked his ability to speed-heal and cracked open the door leading to the dining hall. He slipped his head inside and told the men to wait in there until they were summoned.

"It will only take a while, so why don't you all gather near the fireplace and do whatever you people usually do? And you there, put down my sippy-cup this instant!"

The offender, the young worker who had asked him about Inky, hastily placed the small cup down, as if it had suddenly grown hot to the touch. With that taken care of, Shrowdy closed the door and returned to the more pressing problem at hand: Mona's refusal to stay hidden inside her room. Since that had no obvious solution, he decided he could only solve it Von Kiefer-style.

A few floors higher, the two prisoners were gazing at the door Shrowdy had just closed with their mouths hanging open. Slowly, they turned their heads and looked at each other.

"Froderick…"

"Mona…"

And then they simultaneously broke into a gleeful shout:

"There must be people in there!!!"

Mona could not stop herself from clapping her hands softly in excitement.

"Oh Froderick, I get dizzy with joy just when I think about it. After all these long months, there is finally hope!"

"If those people see us, we have a chance to shout for help. I'm sure the reason why Shorty Von Kipper there wanted you inside is because he doesn't want anybody to see you."

"Hurry then, we must ask for help. With my voice, I think I can make myself heard" spoke Mona so quickly, that her friend understood only half of her words.

"Wait, wait. We must do this the careful way. What if he turns all of them into Merlot if they see you?" asked Froderick.

"I know it's a risk, but do you really think we can lose this chance? I'm going mad in here, Froderick! Mad! I want to see my parents, they're probably worried to death for me because I vanished from the Opera without a word, and I want to go back to Paris and resume a normal life and finish my studies! I can't stay here and fend off Shrowdy until the rest of my life! And if this curse continues, I will be stuck with him forever!!" she cried, her voice a few octaves higher and her dark lips twitching dangerously into a pre-weep kind of way.

Froderick decided it would not be safe for either of them to pursue his argument and raised his claws in a conciliating manner.

"Okay, okay. We need to sketch a plan of action."

Meanwhile, a panicked Shrowdy was rushing across the barely-lit hall towards his prisoners. He had to silence Mona – that was without a doubt, the necessary course of action. But how to silence someone who can break glass with her voice? "And possibly eardrums" he thought bitterly, remembering her first nights in his castle. "Why does she want to escape, anyway?" he asked himself while fishing for the key in one of his vest pockets. Wasn't he an attentive and affectionate man? Did he not provide her with blood every night, cater to her every whim, tolerate her tantrums? Sometimes, he found himself on the verge of telling the opera singer of the others before her and _especially_ what happened to them.

He unlocked the door and, feeling empowered by the little speech he had held in his head, pressed the doorknob and swung the door open. All this was just in time to see a toy pitchfork flying towards him with murderous intent.

"Oh" a small voice in the back of his head thoughtfully concluded.

Usually, Shrowdy had no problem effectively ducking things. For starters, he had his excellent vampire senses and agility. And a lifetime of Rufus trying to smack the back of his head when he wasn't looking and Pyewacket attempting to drop various heavy things on his head from the upper shelves while he was in the kitchen had ingrained certain reflexive evasion maneuvers in him. But neither the gargoyle or the cat familiar could compare to his assailant's power. After all, Mona was a vampire too. Despite her being a newborn nosferatu and having a slow transformation process (she still slept in her canopy bed and stubbornly applied body lotion on her hands every evening) her strength had improved considerably.

Shrowdy barely had the time to bend slightly forwards when the pitchfork swooshed over his head and crashed down the stairs. He immediately retreated behind the sturdy door, one hand automatically checking to see if his hair was still in place.

"If you've done anything to my hair… you two are so lucky I can't see my reflection in a mirror!"

"Consider yourself the luckiest" he heard Froderick mumble.

"Don't you dare come closer, Shrowdy" warned Mona. She was standing near his toy chest, holding a plastic butcher's knife (his mother had bought him the "Little Butcher's Set" for his sixth birthday – sadly, he had lost the rubber meat and the red stained mini apron) in one hand and a decapitated doll in another.

"I am losing my patience" he growled through his teeth, spitting out the last word.

"I'll add that to the list of things you lost then. Oh, and I think you should know that your mind is at number one" replied the bat, exchanging a wink with Mona.

The Baron, still half shielded by the door, shook his fist at the pair and started to prepare himself for what he hoped was the final showdown.


	4. Chapter IV

ooo

Charging directly into an angry vampire's room did not strike Shrowdy as being a suitable course of action. Keeping an ear on the sounds coming from inside the boudoir, he one-handedly unclasped his cape and used one foot to keep the door slightly ajar while he made a bundle out of it.

Inside the boudoir, Mona was keeping her eyes firmly on the door, clutching the toys she intended to use as projectiles. Despite no sign of movement, something in the back of her mind was telling her that Shrowdy was still there. She could not explain what it was; she just _knew _he was there, just like she knew her name and her birthday.

The door began to open wider and a black mass rushed in a blur through the opening. She immediately swung the doll towards it. It struck true to its aim and the small black bundle landed on the vanity table, knocking down perfume bottles and making the vanity mirror stagger dangerously. At about the same time Mona became aware of the trap, Shrowdy threw the door open and lunged for the left side of the bed. The toy butcher knife narrowly missed him and smashed into the shelf above, breaking one of the urns containing the remains of one of the Baronesses' unfortunate husbands. The ashes began to spread into the entire room, creating a choking dark cloud. Mona edged slightly towards the open balcony door.

"More ammunition!" she coughed before shielding her mouth and her nose with her cape, bloodshot eyes darting across the room in search for the enemy.

With her spare hand, she managed to catch a puzzle box that Froderick had lifted out of the toy chest and threw in her general direction, a move that had cost the bat a few tumbles and a harsh landing in a box of wooden inquisitor figurines. Mona was listening for any sound that could reveal her opponent's position. She was listening so hard that she thought she could almost hear the poor man's ashes set across the room like soot. A few squeaks. A small piece of bone slid from her bed curtain and rolled towards her, stopping duly when it reached her cape. With a horrible realization, she looked up and saw the Baron's enormous head peeking from above the canopy of the bed.

That very moment, the two rats that had secretly been watching the scene hidden behind the vase on top of the drawer thought that the time was right and pulled out two blue caps and notebooks from a nook in the wall.

"It's a beautiful night here in Draxylvania folks, and you're about to witness the most anticipated vampire match of this season: Shrowdy von Kiefer versus Mona "My Love"!"

"Don't leave your rat holes ladies and rodents, because I get the feeling this fight will write the history of our castle!"

"And round one begins! The Baron tries a body slam on Mona, but she's a fast little critter and ducks to the right. Von Kiefer lands in his toy chest! Vampire girl is heading for the vanity table… what is she doing, Paolo?"

"I don't know, Rico, but she's… oh! She got that vase and she's getting ready to throw it! The Baron is stuck in the toy chest, thanks to a tube of Superstickygooeystuff. Mona wastes no time!"

"That's right, there she goes! The vase draws a fine curb in the air and strikes Kiefer straight into the kisser! Mona scores!"

"But wait" continued Paolo, agitating his notebook "the Baron makes an unexpected recovery and whoa! He's already at the vanity table, folks! He's got her by the arm! Will he use brute force to bring his opponent to submission?"

"What's this? No, she's escaped by turning into a bat! She's flying towards this vase, take cover!"

"We'll be back after a short break" announced Paolo and they both dived into the hole in the wall.

_Are you tired of your mundane life? Always fearing Pyewacket, scraping for food and going to your home to a pesky wife?_

_(The scene changes to a small rat being chased by a large, orange dyed one, who tries his best to look as feral as the resident feline. The chased rat tumbles inside his shabby looking rat hole where a chubby she-rat with a worn-out apron begins to squeak at him.)_

_Fear not, then! We have the answer to all your problems. Take a cruise aboard the Ratohaven, your one way to freedom! We offer a safe trip inside a luxurious wooden boat, breakfast included. Once leaving the castle and reaching Vlad's Landing, you can settle in a nice, warm, cat-free home where you can get all the food you want! Order now!_

_(The scene changes to the same rat, now snuggling with a slim she-rat wearing a blonde wig, on a clean floor in front of a fire, holding a large piece of cheese in his claws and smiling from ear to ear.)_

_For more information visit Gilbert in the dungeon._

"We're back, and batgirl has grabbed the vase and is heading towards the Baron again. Will he fall for the same tactic twice? Kiefer covers his head while Mona launches the vase towards him, wait, it passed his head, it's going to crash… holy cheese! Mona's partner Froderick caught the vase-"

"What skill!"

"-and smashed it directly against the doomed Baron's head! The crowd is delirious! The two bats exchange high fives and then batgirl resumes her human form and tries to flee the ring… she's got the doorknob in her grasp…. rats! Shrowdy grabbed her dress, I'm sure that counts as harassment… ouch! The green man slams his opponent against the bedpost, Mona crashes…"

"I think we have a winner, rodents. But wait, Froderick attempts to do a last stand and launches himself directly into the Baron's face, but ah! he swipes him with one blow. He lands in his cage... now that's got to hurt. Look how that cage staggers!"

Paolo climbed down from the drawer using the gilded handles as steps and scuttled over to Mona. He raised his right paw up into the air and counted: one, two three. Then he sighed and declared the Baron the winner of the match. Shrowdy did a little victory dance, then stopped abruptly and threatened to stomp on the rat.

"How dare you spy on me and make a mockery out of my struggle, rat!"

Before he finished his sentence, Paolo had already vanished under the bed. His other companion had bid his audience goodnight and disappeared as well. Shrowdy gathered Mona into his arms and lifted her up. The task was proving to be more difficult that he thought, since Mona was taller than him and he had to be careful not to bump her head against anything and keep from stepping on her hand at the same time. He was one step away from the bed when he heard a small snap. He had stepped on Mona's black cape and the clasp had come undone. He took a few moments to look at the purple puncture wounds on her neck, which still hadn't healed. He remembered how Mona kept touching them obsessively in the first few weeks of her stay at his castle. She had been so worried about them getting infected that he ran to Stoker's place one night and asked that poor woman to make a black cape. Mona was reluctant about the present at first (if by reluctant one understands trying to smother him with it), but one night she descended from her room wearing it, muttering about how she was feeling colder and colder.

Shrowdy let the cap fall and placed the girl rather awkwardly on the bed. He grabbed her cape from the floor and threw it over her. On the other side of the room, Froderick was shaking his head and staggering back and forth in his cage. When his vision cleared up somewhat, he saw two huge eyes glaring at him from behind the bars.

"I know how ugly you are, no need to come this close to prove it" he said.

An instant later, Shrowdy's fist connected with the cage, making the thin bars vibrate. Froderick winced, but maintained some of his composure. The vampire pressed his nose between the bars and spoke:

"Listen here, tick-infested rat. If I hear one, just one teeny tiny little sound coming from you while the men are working, I will come here, I will take Mona and I will throw her out the balcony and into the water. The lake ward will dispose of her."

Froderick was actually taken aback by the Baron's threat. He knew the man adored Mona with slavish devotion and him harming her was something he could not easily imagine.

"Like you'd ever do that."

"There are many more where she came from, of that you can be sure. And she isn't the first - but she soon may make place for yet another one if you don't hold that wretched mouth of yours shut!"

This time, it was something in the Baron's tone that told Froderick it was safer not to argue - or make any sound at all. The vampire turned away from the cage and passed the vanity table, where he collected his cape. He then headed for the door, walking stiffly. He slammed the door shut with such a force that the lids of the urns from the shelves near the bed clattered. The effect of that dramatic exit was marred by the fact that his cape got caught in the door. The bat watched how the black piece of fabric became smaller and smaller as its owner pulled it from the other side of the door. With Shrowdy gone, he looked around the room and became alarmed when he saw the black spot on the covers of the bed. The air in the room felt heavy and left a taste of ashes on his tongue. The cage door was locked, as he had expected. There was nothing left to do but wait. He removed the wooden tip of a soldier's sword from his behind.

**I am sorry for taking so long with the updates. The epilogue will be posted soon.**


	5. Epilogue

Epilogue

When she woke up, Mona found herself in complete darkness. Her head felt very heavy and there was something prickling at her face. Something between a tickle and a rash. She moved her head to the right, but the sensation did not fade. Instead, it got worse. There was a squeaking sound coming from somewhere nearby. A jumble of hands and her cape flied off and landed on the moth-eaten carpet. It took some time for her eyes to focus due to the adamant pounding she felt in her head. She found the feeling eerily similar to how she felt after the night when Amelie and Isabelle smuggled some liqueur into the dormitory.

Froderick was hanging upside down in his bat cage, swinging lazily back and forth. "Mona, you're up! I was worried for you."

"What are you doing in there?"

"Short&Stupid locked me and I think the door's jammed."

Mona rose from her bed, walked with wobbly steps towards the cage and pried the door open. Her companion flew out and hugged her neck.

"There, there, it's alright" smiled Mona and patted him gently with two fingers. "Where's Shrowdy?"

"No idea. He left right after the smackdown and I haven't seen him since."

An all-familiar feeling of disappointment stung somewhere inside Mona. She had tried countless times to escape, but this was the first time she had actually come close to succeeding. Bottled messages were eaten by Inky and the outings that Shrowdy had promised her were very likely to never come into fruition. But she couldn't give up. That was simply not an option. Giving up meant resigning oneself to spending the rest of her life evading Shrowdy and his tragic attempts at courtship. Having this in mind, Mona took a deep breath.

"Let's go find him. We need a rematch!"

"I've been thinking about that and boy, have I got a fine selection of sadistic plans for you, miss!"

"Oh Froderick, you truly know the way to a girl's heart."

They went down into the tower hallway. The air was dusty and had an unpleasant tinge to it. A warm, gentle light was coming from the trophy room. After exchanging an apprehensive look with her friend, Mona poked her head through the doorway. The trophy room was no more. Instead, the chamber had been turned into a theatre. There were rows upon rows of seats, all laquered wood and rich plush cushions; some hunting trophies were still lining up the stone walls, but in the new decor they looked more like stage props. And right there, in the back on the room was a candle-lit stage framed by heavy green velvet drapes with golden tassels. A large, rather sinister plaque above the stage read: "The Mona de Lafitte Memorial Theatre - Established in 1892."

"Memorial? I am not dead!" seethed Mona.

"I am rather impressed" wheezed Froderick as he was flying around the room.

"If he thinks that something like this will make me feel less miserable of living here and being around him, he is out of his mind! I should tie him to the plaque and burn this entire thing down. That should get the message across!"

"It mind not be too bad. The theatre, I mean. You do need practice to keep your voice in shape, right? And what better place to do it than a stage?"

Mona had to agree. The stage had always attracted her and she had missed it sorely during the time as a captive of Count Forever Alone. And one day, of that she was certain, one day she would escape and make her way to her beloved Paris and to that beautiful, breathtaking stage at the Opera and people would cheer for her and weep at her singing and throw roses at her feet. And she would be happy. And with that in mind, she got up the stage, closed her eyes and began to sing.

~*~ The End ~*~


End file.
